Friday, December 17, 2010

yeah, i took a 30 day blogcation

Hello blog readers! i'm baaa-aaack! i had disappeared into a funk for a brief time, but i think that the Christmas Spirit is working its magic on me and i am getting my  "oomph" back.  in all honestly, i have been working ALOT, and blogging time has been greatly hindered. i have pretty much only had time to read over my fave sites and quickly browse my facebook news feed. plus, i must confess, my life has been relatively non-blog-worthy. But i did not want any of my regular readers to think i had given up, so i am here with some updates...well, first off, i have not been getting ANY exercise for about a month now, and boy am i ever feeling it! its amazing how quickly our bodies revert back to their flabby, unused, squishy, former versions when we are not paying attention! i have been very lax about my diet and the white carbs took over for a little while, but i am officially back on track with my eating this week. Exercise, on the other hand, is a different story.  It has been frigid cold here for the last couple of weeks (first snow of the season today!), so the beach walks have officially ended for the season. But as it so happens, i have been physically unable to go. Remember a few posts back when i mentioned i had to see a vascular surgeon? well, the reason is that i have been experiencing VERY painful leg swelling and heaviness that is impacting my ability to walk even short distances. over the past two months it has been steadily worsening, and when i saw my bariatric surgeon, she had mentioned it looked like lymphodema. well, the good news is, that my dr doesnt think its lymphodema. He diagnosed me with moderated/severe venous reflux disease, and thinks it can be fixed with Sclerotherapy. the problem is that my insurance company may not cover the expense as it is considered "cosmetic". although i am struggling to understand how a procedure to alleviate PAIN is considered COSMETIC?!?! there is also a chance that they wont pay for the ohsosexy compression stockings he ordered me to wear, and they cost close to 70 bucks! the really scary thing is that i work for a very large healthcare cooperation (the single largest employer in the state!) and i have REALLY good insurance. i mean, what kind of sense does that make? NONE i say! okay, excuse me whilst i climb off my soapbox! must say that i am more worried now that my insurance wont pay for the abdominoplasty and breast reduction i have been planning; it would mean not getting them done because we could never afford the cost on our own. But, the rep for the plastic surgeon who i am going to didnt seem too worried when we discussed it. So i will try not to worry.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

misadventures in salad making

ahem. drumroll please. i had no candy today, whatsoever. yaaay me! hey dont knock it, you have count those small victories, because they add up to larger ones! and i am posting 2 days IN A ROW! excuse me whilst i do a little dance. ok,  moving on...i ruined the main part of my lunch tonight. sooo bummed right now, it was a yummy little spinach and arugula salad with shredded rf white cheddar and turkey bacon crumbles, and Paula Deen Peach Dressing. so how could one ruin that, you ask?well, when i assembled my salad, i separated the bacon, cheese, and dressing in their own little containers to prevent the soggies, then i sprinkled the greens with crushed red pepper flakes and kosher salt, packed everything in my little lunch sack with an ice pack. Does anyone care to guess where i went wrong? yup, the kosher salt. it wilted the greens. they looked like i had poured hot water over them!!! i still tried to eat the salad, but it was just awful. eeeewww...salad is supposed to be crunchy! But dont worry, i still had something yummy to eat...a diced honeycrisp apple with toasted chopped walnuts, sprinkled with fresh ground cinnamon and drizzled with agave nectar. i don't have a photo but i am going to do a quick product review...McCormick's Grinders-Cinnamon-awesome. just great FRESH cinnamon taste, amazing flavor and not expensive, i paid $2.34. it is really great added to your coffee grounds before brewing, adds that "something special"to the coffee. go get some.
things im loving right now:
1. the smell of my fabric softener on my freshly washed fleece Eyeore jacket
2. Never Surrender by Cory Hart is on the radio--the 80s rocked!

Monday, November 15, 2010

put down the butterfinger and no one gets hurt!

wow, 15 days since my last post. i am such a slacker. one might think that the reason i have not posted since october 30 is that i have been in a trick-or-treat-candy- induced sugar coma. one would be partially right. i CONFESS i have been eating mini chocolate bars almost DAILY since halloween. its time to STOPTHEMADNESS!!!! the difference in the pre-op me and the current post-op me is that the pre-op me would have eaten, oh, i dont know, 5 or 6 mini bars at a time, and the current me eats one or two. (my mom was in the car with me the other day after i ate 3 [1 miniature snickers and 2 miniature butterfinger crisps] and she witnessed my shame and the resulting mad search for a public restroom as the sugar wrecked havoc on my intestines. [sorry if that's TMI, just 'keepin it real' for y'all] needless to say, i wont be making that mistake again. looking back i realize i felt a little bit out of control eating that 3rd one, not sure where my mind went to. oh wait, yeah i do, it was in a candy(crack??) induced feeding frenzy saying "nomnomnom this is soooofreakingdelicious who cares if i gets sick as long as it tastes this goo-ood nomnomnom!!!" [insert cookie monster noises here] but, alas i have realized that by allowing myself to eat the candy, it has opened the door to other cravings for foods that are just not good for me. i try not to restrict any one particular food from my diet, my motto is: all things in moderation... but i do try to LIMIT my consumption of white carbs mostly because of this very problem. i start wanting more and more carbs and then high fat, high processed food, and i quickly fall into bad habits. Then i start feeling crappy and stop exercising and the snowball continues. So it really is best to avoid such "trigger"foods. easier said than done, but i have come so far and i dont want to undo any of it. as the title says these are the confessions of a food junkie and right now candy is my drug of choice.  so i am gonna go cold turkey, no more mini candy bars for this addict. (i am really not all that noble, the kids' candy bowls are out of the good stuff and they are guarding their Reeses cups with their lives)
oh on a side note; no one showed to the first meeting of my WLS support group. its a shame too, cuz i had made WLS friendly snacks.  gonnna try again this week. keep ur fingers crossed!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

sicky-poo and meanies too

i was sick earlier this week...i will spare you the gory details, but essentially i  had a fever with chills and wasnt about to stray far from my bathroom. 'nuff said, huh? in the end i felt like i had been run over by a Mack truck, that then backed up over me.  i had to miss 2 nights of work, but since i work with medically fragile kiddos i cant take chances about exposing them to illnesses.  i suppose it was just your run of the mill virus, but i have been pretty run down lately, mostly due to my crappy sleep patterns. i plan to be first in line for my flu shot at work next week!
moving on to WLS related blogging... the first meeting for my support group has been set, there is an add in the "community happenings" column of the local paper, and the official event invite went out on Facebook. Yaaaaay! the meeting is scheduled for this Thursday evening. I am very hopeful this will take off, although i have had a somewhat "lukewarm" response. we shall see.
we have been having freakish weather this week, muggy and humid early in the week with temps in the high 70's and today only made it to 62 with strong breezes. my morning beach walk today was FRIGID!(38 degrees when i started out) but i like it that way, cold = less sweat.  i need to remember to bring tissues (as soon as the tip of my nose gets cold, the dripping starts) and i need to buy one of those fleece headbands with the ear flaps.
ok, well i cannot publish this post without throwing my 2 cents out there on the Maura Kelly, MarieClaire online article. although i am loathe to add to her 15 minutes of fame.  Many colorful words come to mind to describe Ms. Kelly, but i shall refrain. i simply wish to address her, in my opinion, backhanded, half-assed "apology". to blame her remarks on her personal history of anorexia and body image issues is a complete and utter COP-OUT. having an eating disorder does not give someone license to be CRUEL. her cruel remarks are a shining example of a schoolyard bully who never grew up. tearing others down so she can feel better about her own inadequacies.  Ms. Kelly, grow up, and seek MORE counseling, because YOU obviously need it.  ok im done.

 i guess thats all i have to say for now. but i have one small request...the STATS page shows that there are quite a few people lurking around this blog, and i would love to hear from you. sign in,follow me or just leave a comment, i really would love some feedback, (needy, i know) just dont be mean, cuz i will just delete your comment anyway. mean people can bite me (Maura Kelly) so there.

Friday, October 22, 2010

have you ever noticed how the scale in your doctor's office NEVER corroborates what your scale says at home? or does this only happen to me? this morning i set off for my doctor's office with a song in my heart and a smile on my face because it was a good scale day (even fully dressed! minus shoes)...i stopped off at WaWa for my favorite cup o' joe, and headed to the office, where upon, less than an hour later, i had apparently gained 5 pounds. now, their scale did weigh me 6.6  pounds LESS than my last visit, but STILL. ugggh. On the bright side, i had a very good visit, although i did not see Dr. Wynn, but a new doctor (new to me) in the same practice. She is awesome, she actually listened to me and took me seriously about some of my ongoing medical concerns that, frankly, i don't think my PCP has. So i am going to be having some lab tests done and seeing a vascular specialist. She was very encouraging and offered some great advice. Overall it was a very nice visit. except for the scale phenomenon. whatever. I'm over it. almost... I took my momma with me so she could see her doctor too (both offices are about 45 miles from home and at the moment she does not have transportation) and after our appointments were over we went to a local orchard/produce market and loaded up on fresh apples of all kinds, and then i took  her to lunch at Chik-Fil-A. I had their chargrilled and fruit salad with the berry balsamic vinaigrette. YUUUUMMM--*disclaimer-the dressing has 9 grams of sugar for 2 tbsp, but i only used about 1 tbsp * the salad is waaayy huge and i basically eat the chicken breast and fruit with maybe 3 bites of the romaine. Oh, and the granola topping. i must say it again--YUUUUMMM! after lunch we went to a local discount grocery store and stocked up on some good deals, then home. i really enjoy spending time with her like that, it doesn't happen near as often as  i would like.

TOP 3 things that annoyed  me today;
1. the previously mentioned scale phenomenon
2. the fly in this room that keeps buzzing my face and hair
3. that my smart phone battery does not hold a decent charge anymore

Current Obsession: Wrigley's SF Extra Dessert-Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream flavored just. so. good. next i am going to try their banana cream pie version.  guilt-free dessert!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

bum badda ba! my before and after pics

ok blog-readers...i promised them eons ago, but finally,  here, at long last, are my "before and after" pics...

before--i was296 in this pic (no pics from when i was 310)July05
on my  honeymoon-Jan07 14months post op 163

296 (2 months before surgery)
Me now, 5 years post op 174

well there you have it. took me long enough, huh? next before/afters will be the tummytuckbooblift sometime next year, then ihopesomeday the thighliftbatwingremoval :) :) hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Happy "Surgiversary" to me!

Sunday (oct 17) was my 5 year "surgiversary"!!! i still can't believe that five years ago i weighed 310 pounds. i still cant believe that i STILL feel like the fat girl. yeah, i am a work in progress...i haven't posted in a while, mostly because i have been in some sort of funk for the last few weeks, i have battled depression since i  was a teen and every now and then i just need to wallow for a little while. I needed to pull myself out of the funk because i have a lot of work to do... i am very excited to report that my church has agreed to provide the location and i have the green light to start my support group! so i am going to start getting the word out this week, and plan to have the first meeting 2 weeks from now!!!  i believe that starting and running the group will give me the additional motivation i need to keep on track and work my way towards goal. Confession Time:  my eating habits over the past few weeks have been truly crappy...i have been grazing on carbs and have not had a protein shake in...(gulp)2 weeks. *hanging head in shame* i need to buy some new protein powder because what i have right now tastes like money butt. (ok i don't really know what monkey butt tastes like but you get the point) and i have not exercised in two weeks either. i have no excuse for that because i have a treadmill, numerous work out DVDs, ab lounge, bun and thigh roller AND wii fit. i just let the lazy part of me take over. and i am paying for it...not only does it make my depression worse, i feel deflated, like a latex helium balloon five days after the party, still tied to the back of the chair but lying on the floor.  Yesterday i took my family and showed them where i walk (it was late in the day near sunset so we couldn't do my whole circuit) and i realized how much i was missing the  i promised my self yesterday that i would do better. i also promised myself that i would not beat myself up about it.  i promise to love myself.
You may notice that something is missing from the blog. i removed the almost larger than life picture of myself. i never wanted it to be that big, but i could not figure out how to reduce the size of the picture, so i just removed it. i was afraid people might think i was a narcissist or something!  Just add it to one of those many things i am learning as i go.uggh... i am in desperate need of a tech savvy editor.
In my last post i mentioned that i was planning a warm apple pie protein smoothie. I did make it; it was pretty good warm, but nasty when reheated:
1c warmed skim milk
1/2 c apples,chopped
1 tsp fave sugar substitute
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
*chop up apples;sprinkle with sugar substitute, cinnamon and nutmeg-nuke in microwave for 2min, combine with other ingredients in blender, whiz on high til well blended. Enjoy, but dont plan to drink left overs...eeeewww.

Thought for the day:
You have failed only when you quit trying. Until then you are in the act of progression. So never quit trying and you will never be a failure-anonymous

Monday, October 4, 2010

this blog thing is harder than it looks!

well, i just realized i may have made another blog design error! (oopsie) As you may  know, a couple of weeks ago i added two pages on the side bar of the blog; one for recipes and one for product reviews. But now, when i went in to add my second product review, i could not add another post to the added pages. ??? im stumped. So while i try to figure out what im doing, i will be posting my product reviews and recipes in the body of the blog on the "home" page.
Before i get down to the buisness of the review, let me update you on life as i know was rainy and COLD! I am not complaining, just stating a fact. i looove cold, bundle up and snuggle weather (just could do without the rain sometimes-i love my outdoor walks) i had an appointment scheuled for this upcoming thursday with Dr. Wynn (my bariatric doc) but i realized last night that i need to reschedule due to a work conflict and i am really bummed out. i was really looking forward to this appointment because i have dropped aobut 10 pounds since i was there this summer (3 months ago) and i cant wait to tell her that she was right and how grateful i am to her for keeping it real with me. So, hopefully it wont take too long to get a replacement appt, but we all know how that can be sometimes! i have had a bad week as far as excercising, its been rainy and nasty so no beach walks, i walked a couple of times on the tread mill, and we had a family moonlight bowling night with our church (i am NOT a bowler, more like the comic relief--my high score of the night was 113 WITH gutter guards, but we had a good time, and i definetly used muscles i dont normally use!) i've really been trying to eat right, overall i have done well this week, although i have not been getting in all my protein. i just wasnt feeling my protein shakes. But i try to remain concious of protein in everything i eat, and make sure i get some with every meal and snack, even if its just by adding parmesean cheese or some natural peanut butter. i have some delish mcintosh apples i need to use up so i am going to try to make a warm apple pie protein smoothie in the morning, i will let you know how it turns out. i picked up a granola bar as a snack tonight, here is my review:
*disclaimer--these are unsolicited, non-paid product reviews.also, i am not a doctor or registered dietician, therefore please refer to your surgeon for advice on what you should be eating.*
KASHI TLC Honey Almond Flax chewy granola bar
Calories 140
total fat 5g
sat fat 0g trans fat 0g
polyunsat 1.5g
monounsat 2.5g
Fiber 4g
Protein 7g
Sugar 5g  carbs 19g

Decent Stats and yummy! it has whole almonds (my bar had 5!), a lightly sweet taste, chewy and dense, but slightly dry--i think it would be great dipped in some greek yogart sweetened with SF[insert your fave flavor here] Torani Syrup. (plus that would help it to be more filling) Very nice snack item to carry in your purse or car for those emergency times you forget to plan well, or when out to coffee with a friend and the coffee shop has no WLS friendly options. I paid  99cents for this at a convenience store--you can buy a box of six for around 3 dollars at your local grocery store.
 i give it 4 stars ****

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Scale Wars

I have such a sick, dependent relationship with my scale. If it gives me a number I like, all is well with the world, and if not, well then, warn everyone within a 10 mile radius to beware of sudden mood swings. I want so badly to get to a point where I can say to myself, "ok Self, this is what you weigh...and guess what?? its OK!" my world shouldn't suddenly tilt on its axis because I gained or lost a pound. I could be having a "IfeelgreatIamsostrongmylifeisAwesome" kind of day, and suddenly I get the (not-so)bright idea to check my weight, fully expecting to see an encouraging number. But, no-ooo, I GAINED a pound, or two, or three (u get the point) and what happens? I tail-spin. Good-Bye Good Mood, nice knowing you. In walks the twins, Frustration and Fear.  The logical, intelligent, non-obsessive side of my brain KNOWS its most likely water (and/or [forgive me] 'really need to poo') weight, but the irrational, obsessive, self-destructive part of my brain lets the twins move right on in, along with all their CRAP.  Let me introduce you to the first twin, Frustration. She is a real pain in the rear. Her favorite things to say are "Come on, you have been doing everything you are supposed to and you still GAINED?? Well, you might as well say 'screw it' and just eat whatever you feel like because it doesnt make a difference, you aren't EVER going to get to goal." She's fun, huh? Well, her sister Fear is usually nearby. She is quieter than Frustration, but even more powerful.  Most of the time Fear is saying "You are going to gain it all back. It doesnt matter how much you have lost you are still the fat girl. They didn't fix you."  But the scariest part is that she is right. They didn't "fix" me. All they did was give me a tool, the fixing part is entirely up to me. I have to learn to stick my fingers in my ears and sing 'lalalala I can't hear you lalala." when they show up. I have to learn from mistakes, keep moving forward, and kick the twins to the curb. maybe someday I will, along with my scale.

enjoy these cartoons i found on the web:)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

i've gone international!

wow! i just checked my stats page and this little blog has been viewed internationally! in several countries! I am comlpetely stunned and humbled. AND freaking EXCITED!!! wow. you've got to love the internet! moving on... lookie over to the right hand column and you will see something new. go ahead, look. no, not there, up a little, do you see it? theres a "pages" gadget. yes, i figured out how to do it! so i have published my first recipe page. soon to follow are the first of my product reviews.
We are having great fall-like weather here in Delaware. My beach walk this morning started out with temps in the upper 40s but nearing 60 when i finished. although the weather folks are saying 90s by the end of the week. I am so ready for fall. I am going to buy some pumpkins in the am to roast so I can start making yummy pumpkin goodies (canned pumpkin shortage you know!) i thought you might enjoy some pics from my walks so here you are, my gift to you! the Delaware coast is on my list of fave places!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

apologies and "Naked" adventures

hello friends! i know i have been a slacker lately, but I had not realized it has been 2 weeks since my last post! i apologize! Life has been pretty crazy lately, since the kiddos went back to school we have been running around like headless chickens, but i am hoping things are starting to become more routine.  i have been thinking about what direction i would like this blog to move in, initially it was to be an outlet for random musings about my struggle with regain after my weightloss surgery in 2005. But lets face facts, a. i am not that interesting and 2. i am not that interesting.   i decided that i could throw in some unsolicited product reviews and recipes (advanced warning: i do not typically measure ingredients and if you are a stickler for exact measurements you will not like my approach). "Eggface" posts "a day in my pouch" periodically, and i thought that maybe I could do something along those lines, perhaps just one meal out of my day (i don't want to be a copycat). we shall see what develops. Ok, moving on...I had an adventure the other day...I had been searching for a product (aka driving my husband nuts) I read about on my favorite blog called Naked Nuggets. They are chicken nuggets without breading. I have been so stoked to try them, but apparently only ONE store carries them in our area.  So the other day after i finished my beach walk, I decided to drive to the store I was told had them. Guess what? They didnt have them. But they did give me the number to the store that did carry them! and it was only 10 miles further south so I went to find them and taaaadaaaa! i got em! 3 bags to be exact. They are a bit pricey, 28 nuggets in a bag for 7 bucks ( a non-op serving is 7 nuggets- i can eat about 4 with a side item) but they are surprisingly good. and good for you! organic, bread free, high in protein. I give them an A- (i took off points for the slight, frozen food aftertaste) they will definitely be a great addition to my stockpile. And definitely worth the 62 MILE round trip to go get them once a month or so! Remember when I posted that i won a drawing on the "Bariatric Foodie" blog and  i was waiting on my prize pack? well, it arrived last week and let me say how AWESOME Nikki is for putting together such a great package! It came with assorted protein pudding/shake mixes, soups, TVP(textured veggie protein-cant wait to try it!), a SF High Protein granola and SF Peppermint Paddy syrup! there was a slight misadventure involving my allergy to pomegranates, but it was nothing a massive dose of benadryl couldn't cure (my own fault for thinking just one sip wouldn't hurt!) Well, i think that's all i have for now. Keep an eye out for a new tab with some recipes, i plan to post them later this week (as soon as i can figure out how to add the new tab)
see how excited i was to find these nuggets?
newest obsession: Costa Rican Blend Wawa Coffee= yuuuummmm
currently listening to: What a Feeling- Irene Carra (sp?) Flashdance(why yes i am chair dancing and singing into my pen)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Goodbye Earl (a few days late)

I typed this post the other night but I had some PC issues...I actually thought I had lost the post somewhere in cyberspace but  taadaaa! I found it! So, I thought I would go ahead and post it...

Well, Hurricane Earl scooted on over to the right and spared us here on Delmarva! He did, however, bring some awesome wave action! A bit anticlimactic after all my Weather Channel watching, but I am just glad we didn't get a major hit. The kiddos went back to school yesterday so this week has been a BIT stressful, but we have managed to hold it together (sort of). I have a five night stretch at work coming up, but hope to use my next set of days off to get our schedule organized. If I have learned one thing about staying on track with WLS it is that you have to have an eating plan, because if you don't have options available to you it is so easy to revert back to easy, "slider foods", that don't give you your nutrients but load you up on fat and calories. Really, this is a problem for everyone, not just WLS peeps.  For instance, tonight; our middle daughter had cheerleading practice, and my step-son had baseball. We didn't have a plan, and wound up ordering Chinese take out. Uggh, I literally can feel my legs and hands swelling with fluid from all the sodium.  And do you think I ordered something healthy  like steamed veggies and shrimp?oh, noooo, not me, I had 1/4 c shrimp fried rice, 1/4 cup chicken in brown sauce, and a spring roll. oh and a couple of pieces of sweet and sour chicken (no sauce). Dump city and I am STILL paying for it. So for the past couple of hours I have been beating myself up over the bad food choices I continue to make. Then I spent awhile on the OH RNY message boards and got the inspiration I needed to stop me from wallowing in self pity.  So I vow to make tomorrow a better day.
Today's highlight: my morning beach walk really kicked my butt this am, and i felt AWESOME afterwards
I love that feeling--exhausted and sweaty but strong
Listening to : Hot and Cold- Katy Perry

Thursday, September 2, 2010

the weather channel rocks

As you may know, I live in the mid-atlantic region of the states and we are bracing for Hurricane Earl. I must admit I am a weather channel junkie and whenever there is the chance of bad weather I watch it every chance I can!!! So for the past day and a half I have been glued to the telly. I have a bad feeling about this storm, we have gotten off pretty easy as far as hurricanes and tropical storms in the past few years, so we are overdue. We had several feet of snow this past winter, which is unusual, so it would stand to reason we would get slammed with a major tropical storm this fall.  I pray that everyone will be safe, and hope that people take this threat seriously.  So, that's all I did today besides sleep ( I'm a night shift nurse), I even slept with the weather channel on in my bedroom (its a sickness, I know)! Well, actually that's not ALL I did, this morning I came up with a high protein, low(er) carb version of pancakes that I thought were pretty dang yummy (and my 8 year old (very picky eater) stepson agreed ) yaaay!!!  I am going to make them again and write down measurements so that I can share the recipe with you, but basically they had oat flour, almond meal, vanilla and maple flavoring, SF cheesecake pudding mix, protein powder, baking powder and skim milk. They were DELISH! (along with everyone else in my house)I loooove pancakes, but absolutely cannot tolerate them since my gastric bypass (every time i have broke down and had some I paid for it dearly). These are super yummy, totally tamed the craving and didn't make me dump!!! yaaaaay!!! they were ultra filling too, only 3 silver dollar size and i felt ready to bust. So i cooked and slept today. I lead such an exciting existence, don't I? oh wait, something exciting did happen to me this morning...remember how I posted about the Eggface Blogover giveaway? yeah, well I didn't win that...BUT... i DID win a giveaway on the Bariatric Foodie Blog!!! oh yeah! so excited! not sure what I won yet, I think its an assortment of protein powder/bars/flavored sf syrups but I will be sure to post what it is and a pic when I get it! *doing a little happy dance boogie-woogie* I submitted a photo of some chocolate/protein banana bonbons that I made using her recipe and the random name generator thingy picked moi!  here is the pic that I posted along with the link to the site.  Bariatric Foodie

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

my first picture post

Hello world! I am back! Feeling much better and ready to blog some more. Remember the bike I mentioned in the last post? well I got it, and its awe-some! wahoo! and a steal for only 60 bucks! so I am back in the saddle so-to-speak ;) speaking of which, i need to buy a gel seat, cuz this one is a little rough on my tushie *ouch* Over this past week I have been lurking around my fave WLS blogs and checking out some way cool WLS Vlogs on youtube. I have been feeling so much regret that it took me this long to start finding ways to connect to post WLS lifestyles. For the first 4 1/2 years post surgery I lived entirely in the non-op world. I wonder where my weight loss would be at this point had I surrounded myself with others on this journey? I have a feeling I would probably be at goal. Don't worry, this isn't a self pity party, I am not hanging my head in shame, I am rejoicing that I FINALLY have connected with this part of me! I have made a decision; I am going to start a support group in my community. I have talked about it for about 6 months or so, but I have decided to stop talking and start doing. I have started planning weekly topics and now need to find a location. I am really excited! Moving on...I have made several yummy eats this week such as veggie egg-foo young BITES, and choco-protein oatmeal balls (thanks eggface-if you haven't checked out her blog yet, what r u waiting for? ) today I made choco-protein bananna bonbons from the Bariatric Foodie, Nikki.( Another blog you MUST check out And today I made mini salmon patties (omg they are one of my all-time faves! mom used to make them all the time when I was growing up!) Remember in the last blog how i was whining about my fibromyalgia pain in my elbows and knees? well, i had done some online research and found some scary stuff about calcium/vit D deficiency causing Osteomalacia (aka RICKETS) and freaked out! ( i haven't taken any supplements for a while. yeah, i know, i am an idiot) I mentioned it to my PCP when I was there for some other issues (surgical menopause is no joke) and she said that my most recent labs did show my serum calcium levels were low, and having a hysterectomy also increases your chance of bone loss! She told me to discuss it with my bariatric doc when i see her next month. Well i am not taking ANY chances, I marched right out to the Walgreen's to buy some calcium chews. In my research I learned how bad calcium carbonate is and how much better calcium citrate is for absorption, so I started reading labels. To my surprise I discovered only Citrical and its Walgreen's twin had calcium citrate, and one other, Wellesse Liquid Calcium with Vit D. After reading the Wellesse label, I decided this was the one, 1000mg of calcium and 1000mg of Vit D in 2 tablespoons. The bottle has 16 servings and was $6.99, I bought it and its not half bad! tangy citrus flavored, only mildly chalky. I also bought a liquid form of B12 (1000mcg per tbsp) it was $9.99 but on sale B1G1 free...yaaaay! I love me some bargains!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

its my blog and i'll whine if i want to

I am not feeling so hot tonight. Pretty miserable, really. I haven't exercised in a whole week, and boy, can I ever feel it! I feel puffy, fat and icky. My bike bit the dust last week (handlebars are broken); then I was supposed to go for a short hike and tennis date with the hubby on Sunday but the weather was ghastly, stormy and like, 97 degrees with what seemed like 150% humidity (gotta luv late summer on Delmarva). My work schedule has been killer, and I spent my entire day off Tuesday at the outlets attempting school shopping for my 2 tweenage (13 and 11 y.o.) girls(and it did NOT go well). I haven't been getting much sleep (mostly due to my work schedule) and as a result, I am suffering a major fibromyalgia flare(probably the worst i have had since my bypass surgery). My knees, hips and elbows hurt so flippin bad I just want to cry, and i certainly don't want to work out. I brought my exerbands to work with me and used them for about 10 min. I am debating a beach walk in the am, but if my knees are still hurting, I may settle for a stroll on the paved bike path. ANY form of activity will be better than none! Ok, whining over! on to happier, more blogworthy thoughts! The other day I made some of Eggface's BITES, that were AWE-some! they were a broccoli/cheese version with muenster and sharp white cheddar. so delish! even you non-ops should go on over to her blog and try some of her recipes! Today wasnt a terrible day for me foodwise. I did do some grazing (mooo) but for the most part i had WLS friendly fare. For breakfast I made egg-foo young with baby bella mushrooms, shallots, and peas... kept me full until the afternoon, which is when I should have made a protein shake, but didnt and thus the grazing began! I baked 2 batches of roasted chick-peas; a plain salted version and a 'muy caliente' version with garlic, onion, paprika and piquin chili powders! nom-nom-nom my 11 yo LOOOOOves the salted ones! I mixed up a batch of my "bean salad" and brought some of that to work, it has black beans and black-eyed peas with bell pepper, onions, white corn,crumbled cheese and Good Seasons Italian salad dressing, protein packed and keeps in the fridge for almost a week! (it lasts longer in fridge if you don't put the cheese in until you are ready to eat, otherwise the cheese gets mushy and ewwww) My friend Jenna and I cooked for our church service tonight, I made a WLS friendly chicken pot pie and she made a partially sugar free banana pudding, they went over VERY well. My pot pie is very simple, cubed/shredded cooked chicken, a bag of thawed,frozen mixed veggies, one can each of cream of celery and cream of chicken soup thinned with 1/2c of milk and 1/2 c chicken stock, add white pepper, kosher salt, onion and celery powder to taste, mix well and top with 1/2 of a can of crescent roll dough cut into very thin strips and latticed on top, bake at 375 until dough is golden brown, DONE. Seriously, its that easy! I really load it with chicken to up the protein. This usually feeds 4 (3 non-ops + me) with leftovers (of course tonites version had to feed 40!) BTW I had about 1/2 c of the banana pudding, and no dumping... yaaay ;) I am LOVING: 1. Trident Fruit Sensation Tropical Fruit SF gum (i know/ i know... u aren't supposed to chew gum after WLS but I cant give it up and its a great way to keep from snacking) 2. roasted chick peas Todays Highlights: 1. I found a bike on Craigslist that i can possibly afford, and I plan to call in the am...crossing fingers its still avail and decent

Sunday, August 22, 2010

how do you spell Satan? I spell it A-U-C-E (all u can eat)

I haven't posted in a while, I have had a busy week. On a sad note, I went to a memorial for a fourteen year old boy (a classmate of my daughter) who drowned in the river that runs through our downtown, such a tragic loss for our community. My heart aches for his parents and family. It was a very touching tribute to a young man who was loved very much by everyone who knew him. I also celebrated my birthday this week, and yesterday (Friday) my family traveled over two hours to the Sight and Sound Theater in Lancaster, PA to see "Jacob". This was my first experience with the SST and it was AMAZING! We will be making this a yearly family trip, for sure! Our little getaway to Dutch country was not without pitfalls...we were in a group of 20 from our church and the group decided to eat at a famous ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. Now as my fellow WLS buddies know, those are DIRTY words to a GBP patient! All those choices, dancing through my mind as I type, I felt like Templeton at the county fair! I asked the waitress if I could have a child's price and she agreed, which was nice, it would have been even more painful if I had to pay 22 bucks my dinner! I had just a couple of bites of each, mind you, but oh i felt soooo naughty! cheesy mashed potatoes, chicken and dumplings, green bean casserole and a honeywheat roll with whipped butter! They had a chocolate fountain!! I restrained myself and only dipped ONE piece of fresh pineapple in the fountain...mmmm so yummy. Now my meal wasn't completely composed of Satan's white carbs, i also had a slice of roast turkey, and some rotisserie chicken. After I had digested for a while, I even indulged in 3 bites of the most amazing cheesecake I have ever had! I was worried I would have a severe dumping episode from all the carbs and rich food, but i just had a little bit of heart pounding which went away in about 5 minutes. I dodged a bullet on that one! For those reading this who dont know what "dumping" is, let me explain...when you have WLS that re-routes the intestines, if your meal consists of carbohydrates and moves too quickly from your pouch to the intestines, your blood sugar will spike and your pancreas "dumps" out a bunch of insulin to counteract the amount of sugar in the bloodstream. This can result in: a pounding heart, sweating, blurred vision, nausea, vomiting and/or diarrhea, and intense abdominal pain. Sounds like fun huh? Oh yeah, if your idea of fun is rolling around on the floor in pain then having to make a mad dash for the nearest bathroom, it doesn't get any better! But, if you don't want to experience that type of "fun" you quickly learn what foods cause that feeling, and then it is a behavior modifier (kinda like those meds they give to alcoholics so they get sick everytime they drink). I admit that there are times that I want a particular food so bad that I am willing to risk it, and it usually ends in disaster. Usually I say to my hubby, "please remind me of this the next time I want to eat (insert food here)" to which he replies "ok I'll remind you, but it wont do any good" and he does, and it doesnt, and the whole process repeats. Pathetic, i know, but that is the ugly side of food addictions. I have been really bad about exercising this week. Hubby and I have a tennis date and short "hike" planned for tomorrow. I still haven't hooked up my scanner, no excuse for that, I am just lazy. Maybe tomorrow. Highlights of my week: 1. the trip to Lancaster and 2. I got my letter from my PCP recommending my plastic surgery! one step closer to perky boobs and a flatter tummy. 3. My fave blogger Eggface is having a Give-away contest for Sugar Free Torani syrups....I am so stoked, I hope I can win... Check out her AWESOME blog by clicking on the link on my page, you wont regret it! Looove her!

Monday, August 16, 2010

taking off the gloves

do you hear it? the alleluia chorus? bum-da-da-da! I finally have a title. It seems so basic and simple, which is probably why I couldn't come up with it til now (anyone who knows me (even a little) is probably painfully aware that i have a tendency to over complicate things)! well, now that we have that out of the way, on to more important schtuff... i am sooooo excited about the feedback i have been getting about this blog!!!! I told my hubby when i started that this was primarily for myself, but that if i inspired just one other person it would all be worthwhile, and i must say it is COMPLETELY worth while! Today i have been thinking about the psychological side of WLS; we all learned in our pre-op classes about how the mind takes a long time to catch up to the body when you lose weight so rapidly, but for me, that remains the same today, 5 YEARS post-op! How is it that 130+ pounds later i STILL feel like the fat girl??? Will i EVER be able to not mentally compare my body to that of other women i see? I have some friends who have been conquering their weight issues recently (some by way of WLS/ some non-op) and while i am TRULY happy for their success, i still burn with jealousy that i am not at goal, and i still feel inferior to them. and then i wonder if THEY ever feel this way... WHY??? WHY??? will i EVER truly permit myself to acknowledge my accomplishment? when will i stop mentally abusing myself about the weight gain? will weighing under 150(my personal *magic* number) suddenly, magically cure these feelings? i doubt it. uggh so much work to do on my psyche. So i am just taking it one day at a time, one step at a time, one rule at a time. I hereby remove my invisible, mental boxing gloves! Still really struggling with the fluid intake, although my new addiction to hot green tea is helping with that! it may even be crowding out my addiction to coffee, if you can believe that! Meal planning HAS to become a priority. It is important for everyone, not just us WLS peeps, so that you are getting a healthy, balanced diet with all the nutrients that you need. Just an FYI in case anyone is wondering, but I DO NOT count calories. I only focus on protein intake. Having said that, i do try to make healthy choices with regard to fats and carbs. I am a firm believer that full fats of the healthy variety are vital to any diet, especially one based on malabsorption like RNY. And white carbs are from the Devil, Himself. But, thats just me, please dont rely on my blog for advice on your plan. Thats what your doctor and his framed degree are for. Every WLS patient is different and what my body can/cannot tolerate will not be the same for you or anyone else. Manana, I plan to post some recipes and pics, so thats something to look forward to! Highlight of my day: my sissy bought me a uber-cute dress for my b-day and i wore it to church this morning, AND felt downright cute in it! [see, i dont beat myself up ALL the time ;)] Currently listening to : TikTok by Ke$ha--yes PLEEZ shoot me now, i 4got my phone and am relegated to a crappy radio station missing Pandora

Friday, August 13, 2010

whats in a name?

I STILL cant figure out what to name this little ditty-doo. Any suggestions will be seriously considered. I am partial to "the surgical marsupial" cuz ya know i have a pouch instead of a stomach??get it? but marsupials carry their young in their pouches so i guess thats kinda dumb. arrrrgghh! Why does this have to be so hard? How does "i have a pouch but im not a kangaroo" sound? omg thats beyond riduculous...HELP! Moving on...I had an interesting little adventure today...I had to take my daughter to the ortho doc to have her ankle re-Xrayed (she fractured it last month at cheerleading) so my Mom and the other kids went too. Since we were nearby, we went to the cemetary to visit my Dad's grave, and locked the keys (and ALL of our cell phones) in the car. seriously. At least it had stoppeed raining! I flagged this very kind lady down, who let me borrow her cell, called the hubby and tried to use the remote-key-via-the-cell-phone trick I had heard about. Didnt work!ugggh. So the hubby had to leave work early and come rescue us. Did I mention Dad is buried 45 minutes from home? But the wait was fairly pleasant, and I am calling it family bonding time! Hey, I will take what I can get! Afterwords we all went to McDonald's for lunch. They have these new Angus burger wraps, I ordered one without condiments and ate the meat, cheese and veggies, left the wrap. It is 1/2 of the large 1/3lb patty that they usually put on a bun, it was very filling and i felt better that I at least had some protein. I forgot and ordered a SF iced coffee with it, which i had to take home and by the time i could drink it, the ice had melted and it was all watered down and nastified(eeww)...I am really struggling with the "no drinking with meals" rule. The rest of the day my eating was pretty crappy, only 1/3 of the protein i should have had and im not sure i even drank more than 8 oz all day...oh well today is done, tomorrow will be better. One of the most crucial things I need to remember to do is plan out my meals, especially when I have a busy day scheduled! otherwise I just eat crap or skip eating all together. I am going for my early am beach walk in the morning (if its not raining) I have hardly exersized this week and i am definetly feeling the difference.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

design mistakes and my "rules"

Ok everyone, my friend advised me that the pagelayout/color scheme I had chosen probably wasnt the best choice, as the "reversed out text" can screw with peoples eyeballs. So voila'! I changed it. (thanks for the tip J) i think this one suits me better anyway. As I am new to this whole blogging thing any advice is welcomed, so please feel free to make suggestions! I also want to thank all of you for your feedback, it really means alot and is very encouraging! After seeing Dr. Wynn and realizing that the weight gain is my own fault, I knew I had to get back on track. I figured the best way was to go "back to basics". The first thing I did was talk to my family about supporting me (aka kicking my rear-end when I get out of line), I started Googling everything I could think of about gastric bypass, and I joined a couple of online support groups. I started reading blogs by other GBP patients (check out my links to some other awesome blogs, you wont be sorry!)and I came up with my own personal plan to stick with. I gave myself "pouch rules" and posted encouraging notes all over my house. I put my before and after pics up on the fridge at eye level so that I have to confront my demons everytime I open that door. Then I figured I needed to start exercising so I came up with a plan to increase my activity. Thats probably the hardest for me, cuz I am a total couch potato and I love snuggling up and veggin out. Although, I will admit that I feel amazing after a decent workout! I started finding GBP friendly recipes and changed my eating habits. (drumroll pleez)I have lost 8 pounds in the past 4 weeks! I am actually enjoying my workouts, I am loving finding and trying new recipes, and now my hope is that this little blog o' mine will help keep me motivated! In case anyone is wondering...these are the "pouch rules" that I am following... 1. Increase water intake, sip lots of water throughout the day, 15 minutes before meal, drink large amount of water 2. Eat dense protein FIRST 3. NO drinking with meals/no drinking til 1 to 2 hours after finishing meal 4. make sure not to go longer than 5 hours between meals Sounds simple I know, but when you have been non-compliant for a long time, they are HARD bad habits to break. Oh great, now I have that song (you're a hard habit to break) in my head. I hate that. check out this great article"pouch rules for dummies" for more info I will post some before/after pics as soon as I can get the scanner hooked up to the laptop :) Highlights of my day: 1. got to take a nap 2. my PCP agreed to write the letter of medical necessity for my panniculectomy and breast reduction...YAAAAYYY! Currently listening to: you're a hard habit to break (over and over and over in my head )

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

my story

hmmm, where to begin? in 197* a baby girl was born in Wilmington, Delaware...oh wait, no one cares about THAT much history. Ok, just the basics...Hello my name is Susan, and I am a foodaholic. I am such a foodaholic that I had to have my insides surgically rearranged to keep me from killing myself. Seriously, obesity is a killer. And I used to weigh in at 310 pounds (btw i am 5 ft 3 on a good day, so as you can imagine, I was just about as big around as i was tall). I had high blood pressure, joint problems, chronic pain, sleep apnea, and the week of my WLS I was diagnosed with diabetes. So I wasn't kidding when I said my weight was killing me. I wore size 28 clothing (& they were TIGHT), I couldn't walk more than 100 yrds without getting winded, and forget about stairs! So about 7 years ago I started researching the lap band, which had only recently been approved. In my research I also learned alot about gastric bypass, but that seemed so extreme that I wasn't sure I wanted to go that route. After 2 years of researching i made an appointment with a bariatric specialist. After speaking with Dr. Wynn(, I decided that I needed to make a drastic, permanent change and decided on the gastric bypass (GBP) My surgery was on October 17, 2005. The day of my surgery I weighed in at 286 pounds. The weight started dropping off, I started working out regularly and in less than a year I lost over 12o pounds. I was wearing size 12's and loving life! The first few years were pretty easy as far as the weight loss went. I lost the weight and kept it off without really trying hard. But...about two years ago I started to gain weight. Just a little at a time, but over those 2 years it added up to 28 pounds! I went from my personal lowest weight of 161 to 190. The day I saw 190 on my scale I freaked. Completely. Now, I had been watching those numbers get a little higher each month, but I had good, no, GREAT excuses. Water weight, hormonal changes from my hysterectomy, medication I was taking for fibromyalgia, working the night shift, blah, blah , blah. But that is what they were, just excuses. So anyway, the day the demon scale read 190, I picked up my phone and dialed my surgeons number. The main reason I went was because I was convinced that I had stretched my pouch to the point that I was eating too much (I did seem to be eating almost constantly). Oh, and you can bet that I had read up on all of the new procedures that are available for tightening the pouch created by GBP. Ok, doc, get me back on the OR table and fix this. So imagine my suprise when Dr. Wynn said that she wasn't convinced that I had stretched my pouch, but instead she thought I was just "eating around" the bypass. I thought, "Me??? Noooo, there has to be something WRONG with the pouch, it cant be me!" She asked me 1. if I was eating my required amount of protein (umm, no) 2. was I drinking with meals (yes) 3. was I exercising (well, no) Hmmm, its me? why should I be surprised? my bad eating habits were what led me to have to get the guts re-routed in the first place. So in that moment, I had no more excuses. I had to admit it was because I had fallen off the wagon so-to speak and stopped using my tool the way it is meant to be used. For those of you who might be reading this that have not had or researched WLS, this is something that is often misunderstood. These procedures are not a cure or a fix-all. They are tools that the WLS patient has to use CORRECTLY, or else they don't work. I have known some people who had great success with WLS and wound up gaining EVERYTHING they lost back. And I had set myself up for that kind of failure. But Dr. Wynn said, "at least you came to see me when it was 2o pounds instead of 80!" Because that is actually the first rule of many I had broken. I stopped going to my regular bariatric check-ups, I did not surround myself with a WLS support system (because no matter how loving and well-meaning your family and friends are, non-WLS people cannot give you what you need to stay on track!). I also stopped following the pouch rules. But no more! I am back on track and I plan to stay here! Check out for great info on WLS. They offer education, tips, before/after photos, and its an online support mecca!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

the first post

hmmm...where to begin? well, first off, you may notice the "working title" of this little blog; I never realized how hard it would be to name something that you hope will reflect your personality to the world at large, so in this instance I thought honesty would be the best policy. I am open to suggestions, and encourage my readers, in fact BEG my readers to help me. Well, now as I read that last line, it seems almost obnoxious to think that anyone aside from my close family and friends would have ANY remote interest in what I might have to say. I am NOT a writer, and any of my english teacher friends will probably cringe at my grammer and sentence structures! (just fair warning) This is not my first attempt at blogging, unfortunately my first blog succumbed to a dour self-fufilling prophecy of failure. I think I know where that one went wrong, it was more of a "the world as I see it" musing, and lets face it, does anyone really care about how I see the world? probably not. But this time I have a purpose. Not a plan, but a purpose. My purpose, you ask? ok you didnt but Im gonna tell you anyway...I want to share my story of life after gastric bypass. I want to put it out there so that someone else who has had/isplanningtohave WLS (weightloss surgery) can relate, or anyone who has a loved one or friend who had/isplanningtohave WLS can get a glimpse as to what it is really like to live with a "pouch" instead of a stomach. So that is my purpose. Hang on folks it could be a bumpy ride:) currently drinking: hot green tea currently listening to: pink-don't let me get me