Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Happy "Surgiversary" to me!

Sunday (oct 17) was my 5 year "surgiversary"!!! i still can't believe that five years ago i weighed 310 pounds. i still cant believe that i STILL feel like the fat girl. yeah, i am a work in progress...i haven't posted in a while, mostly because i have been in some sort of funk for the last few weeks, i have battled depression since i  was a teen and every now and then i just need to wallow for a little while. I needed to pull myself out of the funk because i have a lot of work to do... i am very excited to report that my church has agreed to provide the location and i have the green light to start my support group! so i am going to start getting the word out this week, and plan to have the first meeting 2 weeks from now!!!  i believe that starting and running the group will give me the additional motivation i need to keep on track and work my way towards goal. Confession Time:  my eating habits over the past few weeks have been truly crappy...i have been grazing on carbs and have not had a protein shake in...(gulp)2 weeks. *hanging head in shame* i need to buy some new protein powder because what i have right now tastes like money butt. (ok i don't really know what monkey butt tastes like but you get the point) and i have not exercised in two weeks either. i have no excuse for that because i have a treadmill, numerous work out DVDs, ab lounge, bun and thigh roller AND wii fit. i just let the lazy part of me take over. and i am paying for it...not only does it make my depression worse, i feel deflated, like a latex helium balloon five days after the party, still tied to the back of the chair but lying on the floor.  Yesterday i took my family and showed them where i walk (it was late in the day near sunset so we couldn't do my whole circuit) and i realized how much i was missing the walks...so  i promised my self yesterday that i would do better. i also promised myself that i would not beat myself up about it.  i promise to love myself.
You may notice that something is missing from the blog. i removed the almost larger than life picture of myself. i never wanted it to be that big, but i could not figure out how to reduce the size of the picture, so i just removed it. i was afraid people might think i was a narcissist or something!  Just add it to one of those many things i am learning as i go.uggh... i am in desperate need of a tech savvy editor.
In my last post i mentioned that i was planning a warm apple pie protein smoothie. I did make it; it was pretty good warm, but nasty when reheated:
1c warmed skim milk
1/2 c apples,chopped
1 tsp fave sugar substitute
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
*chop up apples;sprinkle with sugar substitute, cinnamon and nutmeg-nuke in microwave for 2min, combine with other ingredients in blender, whiz on high til well blended. Enjoy, but dont plan to drink left overs...eeeewww.

Thought for the day:
You have failed only when you quit trying. Until then you are in the act of progression. So never quit trying and you will never be a failure-anonymous

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