I have such a sick, dependent relationship with my scale. If it gives me a number I like, all is well with the world, and if not, well then, warn everyone within a 10 mile radius to beware of sudden mood swings. I want so badly to get to a point where I can say to myself, "ok Self, this is what you weigh...and guess what?? its OK!" my world shouldn't suddenly tilt on its axis because I gained or lost a pound. I could be having a "IfeelgreatIamsostrongmylifeisAwesome" kind of day, and suddenly I get the (not-so)bright idea to check my weight, fully expecting to see an encouraging number. But, no-ooo, I GAINED a pound, or two, or three (u get the point) and what happens? I tail-spin. Good-Bye Good Mood, nice knowing you. In walks the twins, Frustration and Fear. The logical, intelligent, non-obsessive side of my brain KNOWS its most likely water (and/or [forgive me] 'really need to poo') weight, but the irrational, obsessive, self-destructive part of my brain lets the twins move right on in, along with all their CRAP. Let me introduce you to the first twin, Frustration. She is a real pain in the rear. Her favorite things to say are "Come on, you have been doing everything you are supposed to and you still GAINED?? Well, you might as well say 'screw it' and just eat whatever you feel like because it doesnt make a difference, you aren't EVER going to get to goal." She's fun, huh? Well, her sister Fear is usually nearby. She is quieter than Frustration, but even more powerful. Most of the time Fear is saying "You are going to gain it all back. It doesnt matter how much you have lost you are still the fat girl. They didn't fix you." But the scariest part is that she is right. They didn't "fix" me. All they did was give me a tool, the fixing part is entirely up to me. I have to learn to stick my fingers in my ears and sing 'lalalala I can't hear you lalala." when they show up. I have to learn from mistakes, keep moving forward, and kick the twins to the curb. maybe someday I will, along with my scale.
enjoy these cartoons i found on the web:)