Non-Scale Victories

( i am not going to apologize for my dismal blog posting record anymore. if you happen to be a regular reader of this little ditty you already know that i am a total slacker)

Those readers who are WLS post-ops most likely know what i mean when i say "non-scale victory", but just in case you do not, or happen to be a non-op, you need to understand that when we (WLS patients) first begin our new lives post op, every ounce lost is a victory over the scale.  But, there are many other victories that dont involve the scale at all. Every size of clothing lost. Every obesity related medication stopped. Every CPAP returned to the medical equipment company (or in my case, placed in the attic--dont ask me why  i kept it--i have no clue, its just up there).Being able to secure your seat belt in the car without cutting off your circulation or air supply. Every flight of stairs taken without feeling like you need an oxygen tank at the top. Every trip past a full length mirror where you do a double take. Being able to shop in a "normal" size clothing store. These are non-scale victories. As we progress in our journey and the weight loss slows and eventually grinds to a halt, those victories become fewer and farther apart. And sometimes, they can become your lifeline, the only thing keeping you from making bad decisions that lead to regain (and self loathing). It had been quite a while since i had experienced one of these WOW moments. i have even begun to feel like a bit of a failure. But today i had an awesome NSV--i was able to complete 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer at the gym WITHOUT STOPPING ONCE!  i could have even kept going! Driving home from the gym, i just could not stop thinking about how far i have come, 5 years ago i would not even attempt the elliptical for fear of dropping dead from cardiac arrest.  And just one month ago, our first day back in the gym, i wanted to quit after 5 minutes and wanted to DIE after 7! So, to me, 30 minutes is freaking AMAZING and a total NSV! I am trying to build my endurance up as i have decided my new goal is to run a 5k without walking or stopping.

So, after reflecting on my accomplishment today,  i realized i need to start focusing on, and celebrating ALL of my NSVs as often as possible. Because i AM victorious and i need to remember how far i have come, and where i NEVER want to return.

So, What are your non-scale victories???

Confession Session;
#1.  my playlist for the gym includes TikTok by Ke$ha (hey,dont judge me, it has a nice beat to keep my pace up!)
#2. there is this skinny, blonde chick who works out at my gym. i get through my workouts by imagining her getting hit by a bus. or falling off a cliff. or running headfirst into a wall. i am aware that its very "ally mcbeal", but its what gets me through.  :) (insert evil laugh here)

currently obsessing on:
raw almonds. chobani greek peach yogurt. getting my plastic surgery (gonna try for november)
currently listening to:
Joan Jett--i hate myself for loving you ( on an 80s kick again--or was that late 70s?)

i would be in some deep doo-doo if Jillian Michaels was my trainer!

i finally got off my butt and joined the gym. i much prefer to walk or ride my bike, but there is no denying that i desperately need the toning and muscle building that weight training provides. so we (my 14 year old and myself) joined last week and we have went 4 times. Yaaaay us!

confession session:
#1.on some of the upper body equipment at the gym, i am incapable of lifting ANY added weight, and also incapable of doing all of the reps our trainer has ordered. so i just did 10, and promptly wanted to DIE. i confess i let Brock (the trainer) think i did all the reps.
#2. my wii fit mii is a fatty. its so depressing when you have lost over 130 pounds to have a video game tell you that you are STILL obese. apparently i have to lose at least another 10 pounds to qualify as "overweight" ! so i confess that when i got on the wii fit the other day, i increased my height by an inch and said my clothes were really heavy prior to weighing in... because i have gained a couple of pounds and i just dont want my mii to get any fatter.

i resolve to...

hmmm, wow. a new year. in the past i would always make my list of resolutions and, for as long as i can remember, the top of the list was to lose weight. oh, it was worded differently through the years, "lose (x) pounds by summer" or "get into a size (insert magic# here) by (magic date)" of course, sometimes it was just simply "lose weight". after having WLS there has been one standard on my list each year, "be kinder to your body by living a healthier lifestyle and set a good example for your kids." this year, i am adding another: "do not allow your mistakes to define who you are." the beauty of this resolution is that i can apply it to all aspects of my life, such as my Christianity, and my marriage, parenting, friendships, work and, pretty far down on the list, my diet. i used to see a counselor, and she told me once that i suffered from "failed perfection syndrome". not sure if you can find that in a text book, but basically she meant that i strive so hard to do everything just right, that when i mess up, i let the perceived failure define me and then i give up and beat myself up over it. at the time, i thought she had been smoking something wacky, but i have come to understand what she meant. and that she was right. the cure is to not set such high expectations of myself. strive to be MY best, not what i think the world would perceive as the best. but i also have to learn that if i make a mistake, that is not failure, but a learning opportunity. hmmm, there may be hope for me yet!  happy new year to all those reading this blog, i hope that this year you are all just a little kinder to yourself, as well as to others.

sicky-poo and meanies too

i was sick earlier this week...i will spare you the gory details, but essentially i  had a fever with chills and wasnt about to stray far from my bathroom. 'nuff said, huh? in the end i felt like i had been run over by a Mack truck, that then backed up over me.  i had to miss 2 nights of work, but since i work with medically fragile kiddos i cant take chances about exposing them to illnesses.  i suppose it was just your run of the mill virus, but i have been pretty run down lately, mostly due to my crappy sleep patterns. i plan to be first in line for my flu shot at work next week!
moving on to WLS related blogging... the first meeting for my support group has been set, there is an add in the "community happenings" column of the local paper, and the official event invite went out on Facebook. Yaaaaay! the meeting is scheduled for this Thursday evening. I am very hopeful this will take off, although i have had a somewhat "lukewarm" response. we shall see.
we have been having freakish weather this week, muggy and humid early in the week with temps in the high 70's and today only made it to 62 with strong breezes. my morning beach walk today was FRIGID!(38 degrees when i started out) but i like it that way, cold = less sweat.  i need to remember to bring tissues (as soon as the tip of my nose gets cold, the dripping starts) and i need to buy one of those fleece headbands with the ear flaps.
ok, well i cannot publish this post without throwing my 2 cents out there on the Maura Kelly, MarieClaire online article. although i am loathe to add to her 15 minutes of fame.  Many colorful words come to mind to describe Ms. Kelly, but i shall refrain. i simply wish to address her, in my opinion, backhanded, half-assed "apology". to blame her remarks on her personal history of anorexia and body image issues is a complete and utter COP-OUT. having an eating disorder does not give someone license to be CRUEL. her cruel remarks are a shining example of a schoolyard bully who never grew up. tearing others down so she can feel better about her own inadequacies.  Ms. Kelly, grow up, and seek MORE counseling, because YOU obviously need it.  ok im done.



 i guess thats all i have to say for now. but i have one small request...the STATS page shows that there are quite a few people lurking around this blog, and i would love to hear from you. sign in,follow me or just leave a comment, i really would love some feedback, (needy, i know) just dont be mean, cuz i will just delete your comment anyway. mean people can bite me (Maura Kelly) so there.

bum badda ba! my before and after pics

ok blog-readers...i promised them eons ago, but finally,  here, at long last, are my "before and after" pics...

before--i was296 in this pic (no pics from when i was 310)July05

on my  honeymoon-Jan07 14months post op 163

296 (2 months before surgery)

Me now, 5 years post op 174

well there you have it. took me long enough, huh? next before/afters will be the tummytuckbooblift sometime next year, then ihopesomeday the thighliftbatwingremoval :) :) hey, a girl can dream can't she?