Scale Wars

I have such a sick, dependent relationship with my scale. If it gives me a number I like, all is well with the world, and if not, well then, warn everyone within a 10 mile radius to beware of sudden mood swings. I want so badly to get to a point where I can say to myself, "ok Self, this is what you weigh...and guess what?? its OK!" my world shouldn't suddenly tilt on its axis because I gained or lost a pound. I could be having a "IfeelgreatIamsostrongmylifeisAwesome" kind of day, and suddenly I get the (not-so)bright idea to check my weight, fully expecting to see an encouraging number. But, no-ooo, I GAINED a pound, or two, or three (u get the point) and what happens? I tail-spin. Good-Bye Good Mood, nice knowing you. In walks the twins, Frustration and Fear.  The logical, intelligent, non-obsessive side of my brain KNOWS its most likely water (and/or [forgive me] 'really need to poo') weight, but the irrational, obsessive, self-destructive part of my brain lets the twins move right on in, along with all their CRAP.  Let me introduce you to the first twin, Frustration. She is a real pain in the rear. Her favorite things to say are "Come on, you have been doing everything you are supposed to and you still GAINED?? Well, you might as well say 'screw it' and just eat whatever you feel like because it doesnt make a difference, you aren't EVER going to get to goal." She's fun, huh? Well, her sister Fear is usually nearby. She is quieter than Frustration, but even more powerful.  Most of the time Fear is saying "You are going to gain it all back. It doesnt matter how much you have lost you are still the fat girl. They didn't fix you."  But the scariest part is that she is right. They didn't "fix" me. All they did was give me a tool, the fixing part is entirely up to me. I have to learn to stick my fingers in my ears and sing 'lalalala I can't hear you lalala." when they show up. I have to learn from mistakes, keep moving forward, and kick the twins to the curb. maybe someday I will, along with my scale.

enjoy these cartoons i found on the web:)



i've gone international!

wow! i just checked my stats page and this little blog has been viewed internationally! in several countries! I am comlpetely stunned and humbled. AND freaking EXCITED!!! wow. you've got to love the internet! moving on... lookie over to the right hand column and you will see something new. go ahead, look. no, not there, up a little, do you see it? theres a "pages" gadget. yes, i figured out how to do it! so i have published my first recipe page. soon to follow are the first of my product reviews.
We are having great fall-like weather here in Delaware. My beach walk this morning started out with temps in the upper 40s but nearing 60 when i finished. although the weather folks are saying 90s by the end of the week. I am so ready for fall. I am going to buy some pumpkins in the am to roast so I can start making yummy pumpkin goodies (canned pumpkin shortage you know!) i thought you might enjoy some pics from my walks so here you are, my gift to you! the Delaware coast is on my list of fave places!

apologies and "Naked" adventures

hello friends! i know i have been a slacker lately, but I had not realized it has been 2 weeks since my last post! i apologize! Life has been pretty crazy lately, since the kiddos went back to school we have been running around like headless chickens, but i am hoping things are starting to become more routine.  i have been thinking about what direction i would like this blog to move in, initially it was to be an outlet for random musings about my struggle with regain after my weightloss surgery in 2005. But lets face facts, a. i am not that interesting and 2. i am not that interesting.   i decided that i could throw in some unsolicited product reviews and recipes (advanced warning: i do not typically measure ingredients and if you are a stickler for exact measurements you will not like my approach). "Eggface" posts "a day in my pouch" periodically, and i thought that maybe I could do something along those lines, perhaps just one meal out of my day (i don't want to be a copycat). we shall see what develops. Ok, moving on...I had an adventure the other day...I had been searching for a product (aka driving my husband nuts) I read about on my favorite blog called Naked Nuggets. They are chicken nuggets without breading. I have been so stoked to try them, but apparently only ONE store carries them in our area.  So the other day after i finished my beach walk, I decided to drive to the store I was told had them. Guess what? They didnt have them. But they did give me the number to the store that did carry them! and it was only 10 miles further south so I went to find them and taaaadaaaa! i got em! 3 bags to be exact. They are a bit pricey, 28 nuggets in a bag for 7 bucks ( a non-op serving is 7 nuggets- i can eat about 4 with a side item) but they are surprisingly good. and good for you! organic, bread free, high in protein. I give them an A- (i took off points for the slight, frozen food aftertaste) they will definitely be a great addition to my stockpile. And definitely worth the 62 MILE round trip to go get them once a month or so! Remember when I posted that i won a drawing on the "Bariatric Foodie" blog and  i was waiting on my prize pack? well, it arrived last week and let me say how AWESOME Nikki is for putting together such a great package! It came with assorted protein pudding/shake mixes, soups, TVP(textured veggie protein-cant wait to try it!), a SF High Protein granola and SF Peppermint Paddy syrup! there was a slight misadventure involving my allergy to pomegranates, but it was nothing a massive dose of benadryl couldn't cure (my own fault for thinking just one sip wouldn't hurt!) Well, i think that's all i have for now. Keep an eye out for a new tab with some recipes, i plan to post them later this week (as soon as i can figure out how to add the new tab)

see how excited i was to find these nuggets?
newest obsession: Costa Rican Blend Wawa Coffee= yuuuummmm
currently listening to: What a Feeling- Irene Carra (sp?) Flashdance(why yes i am chair dancing and singing into my pen)

Goodbye Earl (a few days late)

I typed this post the other night but I had some PC issues...I actually thought I had lost the post somewhere in cyberspace but  taadaaa! I found it! So, I thought I would go ahead and post it...

Well, Hurricane Earl scooted on over to the right and spared us here on Delmarva! He did, however, bring some awesome wave action! A bit anticlimactic after all my Weather Channel watching, but I am just glad we didn't get a major hit. The kiddos went back to school yesterday so this week has been a BIT stressful, but we have managed to hold it together (sort of). I have a five night stretch at work coming up, but hope to use my next set of days off to get our schedule organized. If I have learned one thing about staying on track with WLS it is that you have to have an eating plan, because if you don't have options available to you it is so easy to revert back to easy, "slider foods", that don't give you your nutrients but load you up on fat and calories. Really, this is a problem for everyone, not just WLS peeps.  For instance, tonight; our middle daughter had cheerleading practice, and my step-son had baseball. We didn't have a plan, and wound up ordering Chinese take out. Uggh, I literally can feel my legs and hands swelling with fluid from all the sodium.  And do you think I ordered something healthy  like steamed veggies and shrimp?oh, noooo, not me, I had 1/4 c shrimp fried rice, 1/4 cup chicken in brown sauce, and a spring roll. oh and a couple of pieces of sweet and sour chicken (no sauce). Dump city and I am STILL paying for it. So for the past couple of hours I have been beating myself up over the bad food choices I continue to make. Then I spent awhile on the OH RNY message boards and got the inspiration I needed to stop me from wallowing in self pity.  So I vow to make tomorrow a better day.
Today's highlight: my morning beach walk really kicked my butt this am, and i felt AWESOME afterwards
I love that feeling--exhausted and sweaty but strong
Listening to : Hot and Cold- Katy Perry

the weather channel rocks

As you may know, I live in the mid-atlantic region of the states and we are bracing for Hurricane Earl. I must admit I am a weather channel junkie and whenever there is the chance of bad weather I watch it every chance I can!!! So for the past day and a half I have been glued to the telly. I have a bad feeling about this storm, we have gotten off pretty easy as far as hurricanes and tropical storms in the past few years, so we are overdue. We had several feet of snow this past winter, which is unusual, so it would stand to reason we would get slammed with a major tropical storm this fall.  I pray that everyone will be safe, and hope that people take this threat seriously.  So, that's all I did today besides sleep ( I'm a night shift nurse), I even slept with the weather channel on in my bedroom (its a sickness, I know)! Well, actually that's not ALL I did, this morning I came up with a high protein, low(er) carb version of pancakes that I thought were pretty dang yummy (and my 8 year old (very picky eater) stepson agreed ) yaaay!!!  I am going to make them again and write down measurements so that I can share the recipe with you, but basically they had oat flour, almond meal, vanilla and maple flavoring, SF cheesecake pudding mix, protein powder, baking powder and skim milk. They were DELISH! (along with everyone else in my house)I loooove pancakes, but absolutely cannot tolerate them since my gastric bypass (every time i have broke down and had some I paid for it dearly). These are super yummy, totally tamed the craving and didn't make me dump!!! yaaaaay!!! they were ultra filling too, only 3 silver dollar size and i felt ready to bust. So i cooked and slept today. I lead such an exciting existence, don't I? oh wait, something exciting did happen to me this morning...remember how I posted about the Eggface Blogover giveaway? yeah, well I didn't win that...BUT... i DID win a giveaway on the Bariatric Foodie Blog!!! oh yeah! so excited! not sure what I won yet, I think its an assortment of protein powder/bars/flavored sf syrups but I will be sure to post what it is and a pic when I get it! *doing a little happy dance boogie-woogie* I submitted a photo of some chocolate/protein banana bonbons that I made using her recipe and the random name generator thingy picked moi!  here is the pic that I posted along with the link to the site.  Bariatric Foodie

my first picture post

Hello world! I am back! Feeling much better and ready to blog some more. Remember the bike I mentioned in the last post? well I got it, and its awe-some! wahoo! and a steal for only 60 bucks! so I am back in the saddle so-to-speak ;) speaking of which, i need to buy a gel seat, cuz this one is a little rough on my tushie *ouch* Over this past week I have been lurking around my fave WLS blogs and checking out some way cool WLS Vlogs on youtube. I have been feeling so much regret that it took me this long to start finding ways to connect to post WLS lifestyles. For the first 4 1/2 years post surgery I lived entirely in the non-op world. I wonder where my weight loss would be at this point had I surrounded myself with others on this journey? I have a feeling I would probably be at goal. Don't worry, this isn't a self pity party, I am not hanging my head in shame, I am rejoicing that I FINALLY have connected with this part of me! I have made a decision; I am going to start a support group in my community. I have talked about it for about 6 months or so, but I have decided to stop talking and start doing. I have started planning weekly topics and now need to find a location. I am really excited! Moving on...I have made several yummy eats this week such as veggie egg-foo young BITES, and choco-protein oatmeal balls (thanks eggface-if you haven't checked out her blog yet, what r u waiting for? ) today I made choco-protein bananna bonbons from the Bariatric Foodie, Nikki.( Another blog you MUST check out http://bariatricfoodie.blogspot.com/) And today I made mini salmon patties (omg they are one of my all-time faves! mom used to make them all the time when I was growing up!) Remember in the last blog how i was whining about my fibromyalgia pain in my elbows and knees? well, i had done some online research and found some scary stuff about calcium/vit D deficiency causing Osteomalacia (aka RICKETS) and freaked out! ( i haven't taken any supplements for a while. yeah, i know, i am an idiot) I mentioned it to my PCP when I was there for some other issues (surgical menopause is no joke) and she said that my most recent labs did show my serum calcium levels were low, and having a hysterectomy also increases your chance of bone loss! She told me to discuss it with my bariatric doc when i see her next month. Well i am not taking ANY chances, I marched right out to the Walgreen's to buy some calcium chews. In my research I learned how bad calcium carbonate is and how much better calcium citrate is for absorption, so I started reading labels. To my surprise I discovered only Citrical and its Walgreen's twin had calcium citrate, and one other, Wellesse Liquid Calcium with Vit D. After reading the Wellesse label, I decided this was the one, 1000mg of calcium and 1000mg of Vit D in 2 tablespoons. The bottle has 16 servings and was $6.99, I bought it and its not half bad! tangy citrus flavored, only mildly chalky. I also bought a liquid form of B12 (1000mcg per tbsp) it was $9.99 but on sale B1G1 free...yaaaay! I love me some bargains!